For my Father...

So...it was Father's Day yesterday. And I was able to connect with my Dad (and Mom) for about two hours this morning on Skype. Oh man did we have fun :) But what stuck with me the most from this conversation was that as my Dad was heading off to bed (poor guy, I kept him up until 11pm!) he quick leaned his head back into the video frame so that I could just see his shiny bald head, and said to me "Meghann, when I think of you its with sweetness, each time".


My friend Natalie wrote a beautiful poem to her dad, in which she says,

"thanks for being the one
i call
dad.


want to know something?
i didn't choose you.
and quite honestly you didn't
exactly choose me either.


but Dad, here's the thing.
you've chosen me
each and everyday 
of my life.


and i know
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that you'll choose me
again tomorrow & the next day
and for as many days
as we have to come... 


and that.
that has made 
all the difference."

Tom Burton, I believe the most important role a Father can have is to point his children to Christ. And oh Dad, you have done that every day of the past twenty-four years of my life. Even though I am a "grown woman" living half a world away and trying to find my place in God's redemption story, I still learn of our King's grace and unconditional love through you. Because like Nat's poem says, after everything, I know you'll still choose me tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after...as long as God puts breath in your lungs.

And that. will continue to make...all the difference.

I love you.

What I see...

How far would you go to deliver Bibles?

Our version of "watching a movie"...

Village....and my friend, Bikash

Our version of "hiking"...an activity that requires teamwork here :)

We are going....where?!? How?!?!

Worship 

What do you see in this picture?

Here is the same picture, but with the flash on.   These girls are attending a night multi-lingual education class - the only education available to them at this point in time.  They are using their flashlight to learn to read and write.  It's Friday night.  The reason the little girls are in the dark is because the class was not for them...

This particular class was for teenage students.

The teacher, under a single light bulb, teaches 60 teenage students.

When the teens are doing lesson work, the teacher goes to the other side of the room and teaches lessons to 30-40 primary (elementary) age children who come.

They sit in darkness with their flashlights because they want to read and write in their language

How much would you do to be able to read and write in the language you speak?

Home.

It has been just over a month of readjustment to the sprawl of narrow, dusty alleys, the constant hum of construction projects, the honking, dogs, and the collage of colorful Hindu shrines and pagodas.  The familiarity of the Kdu Valley, even after having been away for five weeks, was a comfort in itself.  But what truly warmed my heart was the instant presence of good friends and "family"; their bright smiles, cheerful countenance as we hobble around in the dark (power cuts!) wearing at least eight layers of clothing, laughing together again.  I love how God has created this tiny pocket of joy and comfort in a city that is so dark, physically and spiritually.  I am not saying that we are always happy, cheerful, and resilient as we go about our daily lives here, but there is definite God-given tenacity to choose to see the humor and joy of living in a place such as this.  Yes its cold, but it just gives you an excuse to spend more time huddled with friends on the couch, drinking hot tea and attempting to solve all the world's problems, since our personal problems are just too complicated ;)  I know I sound like a broken record, but fellowship and community are so vital in an environment that can be so uncomfortable and hostile.  Praise God for His provision to His people in Kathmandu!

On a different note, some new exciting things are happening professionally for me:  as I recapped my last year working here in Kdu, I felt dissatisfied with my professional performance, and felt that I had not been as creative and ambitious in discovering more effective ways to serve.  But God is good, and within two weeks of my return to Nepal sent the Vice President of my organization, my boss (who is based in Manila), and a Professional Advisor, all of whom were keen to speak with me about my future here.  I don't want to give away too much at this time, especially since I am in the very beginning stages of working through all of this, but I am so thankful that as I am processing my presence here in Nepal, our Lord so kindly provides guidance, a mentor, and a series of conversations to "get the ball rolling".  Please pray that God uses these next few months to really solidify in my heart the areas in which He would wish to have me grow and serve in.

And as all of the above goes on, I am also working on planning our annual work conference, hiring/training new Nepali staff for our office, and starting preparations for a second English Language Learning camp for April.  It's good to be busy again! :)

Thank you, friends and family, for all your prayers and support from afar over this last month as I have readjusted to my second home.  They are deeply appreciated.

I just love this picture....went for a 4 hour bike ride outside the Kdu city limits with a friend, and she snapped this shot as we descended back into the chaos of the city.  If you can't tell, I am wearing a mask of sorts over my mouth and nose!

Christmas in Minnesota

Well....there was no snow.  Not one inch of it.  Weather was in the breezy 30s and 40s (F) and though many of my fellow Minnesotans were thrilled at the warmth and lack of snow/ice/slush that could threaten travel plans at Christmas, I was devastated.  No sledding, ice-skating, or snowboarding...! What is the world coming to! I believe I am most likely headed back to colder temperatures in Nepal, where we have no indoor heat.  *sigh*  Looks like I'll be spending my first week back in Kdu at the Civil Mall movie theater (supposdly the one place that has indoor heat in Nepal) and trying not to bump into things in my apartment in the dark (did I mention we are at 11 hours/day of no electricity?)

Ok ok enough of the pity party: I am actually THRILLED to be going to back to Kdu, and seeing friends and family there who I have missed dearly while being away over the holidays!  The only sad part to this will be the LONG travel involved in getting to the land of no heat and electricity (haha) and most importantly, saying goodbye at the airport.  For those of you who aren't aware yet, my brother Zach will be getting married (!!!!hooray!!!!) in August to his lovely fiancé Hannah, so I will be returning to MN for the wedding.  However, though we know I shall return in a short 7 months, the physical act of turning away and walking through that security line is excruciating.  My stomach is in knots just thinking about it.  So your prayers would be much appreciated this Saturday as my family and I drive up to the Minneapolis airport.

And now to reflect on my time at home: it was both good and bad.  First of all, the jet lag returning to the USA was horrible: my first four days were literally a fog, and the sleepless nights were somewhat brutal.  I also found myself tongue-tied at the thought of having to express to people at home what my life in Nepal is like: how difficult it when someone asks "so, how is Nepal?"  My brain jumps into overdrive: "Do they want a real answer? Are they just asking to be polite? Should I keep the answer short and sweet (and what does that even like) or give them a more detailed answer? Actually, how do I describe my life in Nepal without stealing three hours or so of their life? Oh shoot, they are looking at me waiting for an answer...."  So I hid in my house for a long time - and really, why do you ever have to leave your house? There is a fridge full of food, multiple rooms with comfy, plush furniture, TV's with hundreds of channels, endless (fast) internet, books, HEAT...truly, there was little incentive for me to leave my house at all that first week :)

BUT God loves to stretch and challenge his people!  Now as I look back on my time at home, I cherish all the coffee dates and phone calls and trips to the twin cities to share with friends and family about my experience in Nepal - their encouragement, excitement, and empathy at what I was sharing (even the ugly stuff) was a balm to my heart, and witness that it is only "by the grace of God that I am what I am, and His grace to me has had great affect" (1 Cor 15:10).  Looking back on journal entries written during my four weeks at home, the reoccurring theme I see is "LORD how kind you are to your people!" It certainly was not necessary, but God in his kindness gave me the chance to go home for Christmas: to participate in all of the fun and quirky family traditions (yes we still go caroling), pray over the New Year with them, welcome our new foster brother, Stephon, into our home, and celebrate Zach and Hannah's engagement with wine and chocolate fondue :)  And He also generated necessary healing as I shared my stories and experiences with friends and family here - men and women who truly are rare gems among God's people.  Funny how you have to leave your home to discover what a treasure it is.  Thank you, Jesus, for your gifts to your people, and that your are always molding us to your good Purpose.

And now: back to Nepal, always in the arms of our kind Savior!

A wedding and thoughts on the Advent...

Today was an incredible day at Church!  We had the privilege of witnessing a beautiful wedding ceremony for two refugees.  An Iranian man who grew up in Iraq, now a refugee in Nepal, and a beautiful woman from Myanmar (also a refugee) were united in marriage in front of hundreds of Nepali and foreign believers.  An American who has lived most of his life in Malawi and a man from Ghana officiated the ceremony, while friends and Church family from Pakistan, India, America, and Somalia stood as witnesses and acted as translators for the ceremony.  Talk about an intercultural wedding! The joy and excitement in the room was palpable – and the faces of the bride and groom were so full of joy!  A little background on their lives: The groom’s entire family was murdered in Iraq, and upon escaping and arriving in Nepal, he was immediately imprisoned by the Nepali government.  The International Church has a ministry to the refugees who arrive in Nepal each year, and they visited and ministered to this young man while he was in prison.  Through the care and Christ love of these Christians visiting him each week in prison, the groom became a believer – and now, three years later, is happily married to his stunning, Burmese bride!  The bride had also lost all her family in the violence that has shaken Myanmar over the last years, and upon arriving in Nepal two years ago as a refugee, was led to the Lord by Christian women ministering to refugees.

            How beautiful to see how God multiplies His blessings on His people! This bride and groom, who have both lost their entire family, home and country, have been given to one another as a gift from our Lord – to start anew together in Nepal as husband and wife, and lovers of the One True God.  How good our God is to those who love him!  As I live in a country that serves and worships stone idols and lives in such fear of the spiritual realms – and as I celebrate the Advent of the Christ – do I truly understand what a GIFT God gave in sending His Son to Earth so many centuries ago?  He has given us the greatest gift: the worship of a GOOD and HOLY GOD.  A God, who in His goodness AND holiness made way for us to be reconciled to Himself.  “Where is there another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of His special people?  You will not stay angry forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love!  Once again you will have compassion on us…you will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!  You will show us your faithfulness and unfailing love as you promised….long ago.”

            I mean this with all my heart: there is NO one like our God! No other religion speaks of a God (or gods) who shows unfailing love and pardons again and again the sins and betrayal of His people.  Abba Father Whom have I in heaven but You?  You see the weakest and most despicable parts of me…of my heart….of OUR hearts, the hearts of Your people.  Yet you still came….!  A baby born to be crucified.  O Holy God we are not worthy, but we praise you with all the gratitude our weak, fragile hearts and minds can produce.  Without You we would descend into the chaos and horror of those without hope.

My Jesus how I love Thee!

Tihar: The Festival of Lights

It is Christmas in Kathmandu!

     Ok well not quite, but it certainly felt that way this week.  This week Nepal celebrated Tihar, the festival of lights.  This is an important festival for Nepali people; it demonstrates the reverence for humans, gods, and animals, all of whom live in intense relationships within Hindu religion and Nepali culture.  Hundreds of homes and buildings were decorated top to bottom with long strings of lights - they were draped across the streets, and decorated windows, doorways, and entrances.  Candles were lit inside the homes, and on Wednesday, Nepalis spent the day decorating beautiful painted paths sprinkled with flowers and lined with candles.  These paths led to the doorways of their homes, and are meant to lead Laxmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity to their homes, where they will do "puja" (worship) and thank for her blessings from the past year.  Small groups of girls also go around singing songs in exchange for sweets or money (somewhat like caroling!).
     The next few days are specified for worshipping certain animals, such as the crow, and dog, and most importantly, the cow.  Dogs and cows are decorated with garlands of marigolds, and receive the tikka (red mark) on their foreheads (I have not seen any crows decorated for Tihar - too hard to catch, I assume!).  The final day of Tihar celebrates the relationship between brothers and sisters: The sisters put the tikka on the foreheads of their brothers, ensuring long life and also thanking them for the protection they give.  The brothers in turn bestow on their sisters small gifts or money.
     It definitely has the feel of Christmas - family members come visit (my apartment building is FULL of Nepalis!), grandfathers, fathers and brothers stay home and fuss around the house, gardening, playing with their grandchildren, nieces/nephews, etc.  The holiday spirit is contagious, I have found myself humming Christmas carols throughout the week!  Yet despite the happiness of the holiday, I can't help  but realize that the Tihar lights are out in hopes that Laxmi will find and bless their homes, whereas our lights symbolize that the Messiah has come to redeem mankind - and He most certainly does not need lights to find His people!  But that is life here in Kathmandu - a constant, humming awareness that behind the lights and the colors and the smiles, there is deception and darkness.  Although, I would argue that you can find this same paradox within the celebration of Christmas in our own culture.  Well, more of that later...

In order to best see all the sights of Tihar, some friends and I headed out on our bikes after dark to see what kind of lights and ceremonies we could find...so for now, enjoy the pictures!

The star path outside my neighbor's door...

The stairwell in my apartment building....

I never made a sacrifice...

     I have had the most wonderful opportunity to spend time in Penang with my parents and grandmother, and then host the three of them in Kathmandu for a week!  Two weeks past I flew to Penang and spent an incredible week with my family: I was able to finally visit the place of my mother's childhood: Dalat International School.  It was so wonderful to be standing on the same campus where she lived for so many months and years, and visit the night markets, eat crazy fruits that were my mother's favorite, and learn how God is moving among His people in Malaysia.  On a more materialistic note, it was wonderful to be on roads with LANE LINES (and the vehicles stayed in their respective lane lines for the most part), to walk on sidewalks not covered with trash, and not hear incessant beeping horns all the time.
     In fact, it was so good that I began to dread my imminent return to KTM.  And that really shook me: I firmly believe and KNOW that KTM is where God would have me serve for the next two years of my life, and though I knew at times it would be difficult, I did not expect to be overwhelmed with feelings of such dread and loathing at the thought of going back.  What was going on?  On Wednesday morning, 2:30am, I awoke with knots in my stomach, lungs unable to find air, and tears pouring down my face.  I stumbled into the living room and poured out my heart to the God who never sleeps, and knows the deepest corners of my heart and soul.  LORD, why this dread, why this doubt? I came with a love for Nepal and its people, and a passion for your powerful and holy Word, but all of this has been crowded out by fears, loneliness and discomfort.  Am I that weak?  Where is your joy, your hope?  The tears continued to flow, but my breathing slowed, the knots in stomach loosened, and the Holy Spirit quietly spoke truth to my heart: "Is not my grace sufficient for you? My grace IS sufficient for you, and my power IS made perfect in your weakness - even in this moment in the darkness where it is just you and Me".
    Friends and family, how WONDERFUL it is when the Holy One speaks to us in our dark moments! I returned to my bed renewed and overjoyed - and unafraid to admit that I really AM weak - I don't like the crazy traffic, giant spiders in my bed, feeling unsure and exploited at all times due to language and cultural barriers...and I especially do not enjoy being physically separated from my family.  But if my Lord's power is made perfect in these weaknesses, then I will gladly suffer these inconveniences for His sake!  And at the end of this journey, I pray that I may truly be able to add my voice to David Livingston's, who at the end of his service in Africa concluded "I never made a sacrifice".  All praise and glory to our Lord and God, the Author and Perfecter of our faith!

But as for me I will hope continually

and will praise you yet more and more!

 My mouth will tell of your righteous acts,

of your deeds of salvation all the day,

even though their number is past my knowledge.

 With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come;

I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.

 O God, from my youth you have taught me,

and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.

 So even to old age and gray hairs,

O God, do not forsake me,

until I proclaim your might to another generation,

your power to all those to come.

-Psalms 71