This second round of Nepali life is oh so different from the first.
Largest difference? This time, I am MARRIED.
Marriage is a big identity change no matter where you are in the world, but in Nepal, it is a much more diverse experience as you collect reactions from Westerners from all different countries, as well as fellow Nepalese and Indians....and most importantly, your new In-Laws!
1. Future children are constantly discussed. As my husband and I are different "colors" (he is Indian, I am Caucasian American), the color of our future children is the most popular subject, from skin, to eyes, to hair...I should have paid more attention to genetics when I was in high school.
2. Vegetables, soup, bread, and goat meat are often delivered to our door by my father-in-law. My favorite so far has been the goat meat :) We also get free food in tupperware from all of my husband's Nepali "Aunties". Clearly, it is assumed I cannot cook! (No offense taken, as they are mostly correct. My husband is currently winning at our food "cook off", as his chili was way more popular with friends than my squash puree. Fair enough (squash?! *sigh*).
3. As I am now married, I magically have complete fluency in not just Nepali, but my husband's mother tongue as well: Telugu. In reality, I sadly am only able to call my in-laws by their Telugu terms: Atda (mother in law), Ma-Ma (father-in-law) and Atda Bitda (sister-in-law). Each meeting with my Atda and Ma Ma inevitably starts with "Have you learned Telugu yet?"....oh, if only it were that simple!
4. Friends leave us alone. Apparently newlyweds have sex all day and all night, thus they must be left alone.
5. Setting up a new home includes a blessing of your cooking stove. Milk is boiled over to represent blessing and overflow of food for years to come. I did not catch on to this, and tried to prevent my "atda" (Mother-in-law) from boiling over her milk by showing her my "American" trick of placing a wooden spoon over the pot. I was very surprised to see her giggle and quickly remove the spoon and allow the froth to boil over!
6. Having a head cold becomes an amusement, as you seek to please your new family (and husband) by trying new cultural remedies to fix your illness. No apples or bananas after 2:00pm, and only hot water for drinking after 6:00pm. Sleep with Vick's Vapor Rub on your feet, with socks on. Put tiger balm on...everything. Spicy food will clear out your system perfectly! Consume enough turmeric until you turn orange. (The best part was looking up home remedies on pinterest, and finding similar posts about Vick's Vapor Rub and turmeric! My in-laws are on to something!)
7. When in multi-ethnic groups, and telling someone you are married, they assume (out loud) that your husband is the other white guy in the group. TIA (This is Asia).
8. Surprise that you and your husband live in your own flat, not with his parents.
9. An odd paradox to number 4: when one of us happens to be out for an evening, there is very vocal, friendly concern over the other being alone. The fact that both of us are quite capable of amusing ourselves seems to have escaped our friends, but we do love and appreciate the concern :)
10. My favorite: My ma ma (father-in-law) always sandwiches statements about life with "by the grace of God". I love hearing this reminder in daily conversation!
**These photos are of my atda (Mercy) and atda bitda (Lily, my sister-in-law) conducting their blessing of our new stove! We shared a lot of laughs over this :)
