a recap....

2012 … was a year of surprise, travel, and a painful lesson.  And a year of extremes: breathtaking new spiritual heights, accompanied by spiritual valleys deeper than I thought possible. Here is the abridged version of some of the big things that transpired.

Lets start with suprises – or rather, THE surprise: a guy with a brilliant smile and two of the most beautiful striking brown eyes that I have ever seen.

Yes, folks, for the first time in my 25 years of life, I am in love! And it’s pretty cool. But not nearly as dramatic, cute and easy like Hollywood and Christian Romance novels portray it to be (Dad I should have listened to you: Lori Wick doesn’t know a thing!)

I could already write a short book on how this guy has affected my heart and mind. All in good ways, too! However, those are treasures for my heart. Here is what you get to know:

This year was a year of serious deconstruction and rebuilding of my faith. Because my LORD knows me, loves me, and (still) pours out grace and mercy on me ever day, he sent a young man to verbally speak into my life what He knew my wounded and humiliated heart would not accept from His Word.  I have never actually, in the moment, ‘heard’ God’s Word being directly and intentionally spoken JUST for me. It was powerful stuff, as was the healing that followed.  I am so thankful for his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and courage to speak out, even in tense situations! And I am excited to see what 2013 holds for us.

Travel:

This year I not only traveled back home to Minnesota for my brother’s wedding, but I also visited friends in Northern Ireland and New York City, travelled to Myanmar and the Philippines for work, trekked to Everest Base Camp (which felt like a whole new country, let me tell you!), and rounded it off by visiting family in Penang, Malaysia! My passport has lots of stamps and stickers in it… and that makes me really happy :D

Now, onto the painful lesson:

Obedience is hard.  Actually no, it is difficult.  Nope, wrong again.  Obedience is IMPOSSIBLE.  Because it is not an action, or even a series of actions. It is my life. Our lives. As Christians, our lives really can’t just be a series of moments in which we were obedient to the Lord. They should be obedience itself.

When I say obedience, I am referring to obeying a Holy and Just God.  And that’s pretty serious:

“For who in the skies can be compared to the LORD? Who among the heavenly beings is like the LORD, a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones, and awesome above all who are around him?” Ps. 89:6-7

A life that is obedience can only happen through the power of Christ Himself.

Which leads to my 2012 reality check: the Christian life is a Long Obedience in the Same Direction (Thank you, Eugene H. Peterson! Best title ever).  And rather than consisting of a list of do’s and don’ts and how many do’s you have done verses how many don’ts, this obedience is composed of a daily, intimate communion with your Creator.

“And what does the LORD ask of you? To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” Micah 6:8

Walk humbly with your God. Not running, not rushing, definitely not pushing or pulling….walking. Side by side. Moving forward, but not with haste to get to your destination. Hmmm.

My heart is not proud, Lord,

 my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content. (Ps. 131)

Somewhere along the line, I read a beautiful quote that said something to the effect of: faith does not trust because it knows where it is being led; faith instead trusts the character of the One who is leading. I think on that often when I ponder this road of obedience: I am (trying) not to concern myself with end results, timelines, or even the spiritual fruit that exists in my life. Rather, my concern is simply to follow the One who is leading – because He has not hidden Himself from me, and His Word and His Creation breathe a steady testament to His character and goodness.

So here I am in 2013: and all I can say is, I just want to know Him. 

Really know Him.

“I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face.”

-Donald Miller

2013, here we go!