Married in Nepal (Part 1)

This second round of Nepali life is oh so different from the first.

Largest difference? This time, I am MARRIED.

Marriage is a big identity change no matter where you are in the world, but in Nepal, it is a much more diverse experience as you collect reactions from Westerners from all different countries, as well as fellow Nepalese and Indians....and most importantly, your new In-Laws!

1. Future children are constantly discussed. As my husband and I are different "colors" (he is Indian, I am Caucasian American), the color of our future children is the most popular subject, from skin, to eyes, to hair...I should have paid more attention to genetics when I was in high school.

2. Vegetables, soup, bread, and goat meat are often delivered to our door by my father-in-law. My favorite so far has been the goat meat :) We also get free food in tupperware from all of my husband's Nepali "Aunties". Clearly, it is assumed I cannot cook! (No offense taken, as they are mostly correct. My husband is currently winning at our food "cook off", as his chili was way more popular with friends than my squash puree. Fair enough (squash?! *sigh*).

3. As I am now married, I magically have complete fluency in not just Nepali, but my husband's mother tongue as well: Telugu. In reality, I sadly am only able to call my in-laws by their Telugu terms: Atda (mother in law), Ma-Ma (father-in-law) and Atda Bitda (sister-in-law). Each meeting with my Atda and Ma Ma inevitably starts with "Have you learned Telugu yet?"....oh, if only it were that simple!

4. Friends leave us alone. Apparently newlyweds have sex all day and all night, thus they must be left alone. 

5. Setting up a new home includes a blessing of your cooking stove. Milk is boiled over to represent blessing and overflow of food for years to come. I did not catch on to this, and tried to prevent my "atda" (Mother-in-law) from boiling over her milk by showing her my "American" trick of placing a wooden spoon over the pot. I was very surprised to see her giggle and quickly remove the spoon and allow the froth to boil over! 

6. Having a head cold becomes an amusement, as you seek to please your new family (and husband) by trying new cultural remedies to fix your illness. No apples or bananas after 2:00pm, and only hot water for drinking after 6:00pm. Sleep with Vick's Vapor Rub on your feet, with socks on. Put tiger balm on...everything. Spicy food will clear out your system perfectly! Consume enough turmeric until you turn orange. (The best part was looking up home remedies on pinterest, and finding similar posts about Vick's Vapor Rub and turmeric! My in-laws are on to something!)

7. When in multi-ethnic groups, and telling someone you are married, they assume (out loud) that your husband is the other white guy in the group. TIA (This is Asia).

8. Surprise that you and your husband live in your own flat, not with his parents.

9.  An odd paradox to number 4: when one of us happens to be out for an evening, there is very vocal, friendly concern over the other being alone. The fact that both of us are quite capable of amusing ourselves seems to have escaped our friends, but we do love and appreciate the concern :)

10. My favorite: My ma ma (father-in-law) always sandwiches statements about life with "by the grace of God". I love hearing this reminder in daily conversation!

**These photos are of my atda (Mercy) and atda bitda (Lily, my sister-in-law) conducting their blessing of our new stove! We shared a lot of laughs over this :)

Chemicals

For Johnson...

A room sometimes is a body
With the loneliest view 
And the porch lights grow dim 
With every on-setting hour
Where the stars seem so finite to you

But love it ain’t like the chemicals babe
Cause the chemicals don’t hang around
While everybody’s drilling for a fountain of youth
Losing years on the way down

A melody can be exhausted babe
Short of friend and fame
Cause the birds they don’t sing
In the winter short of spring
And, even then, they only sing in the day 

But love, it ain’t like a melody babe
Cause the birds don’t hang around
Well, everybody’s drilling for a fountain of youth
But sometimes in these fountains they drown
Sometimes in these fountains they drown

But I want to love you
When the blood of my veins 
Don’t know how to call out your name
Yeah I want to love you
When the birds don’t hang around

But love it ain’t like the chemicals babe
Cause the chemicals don’t hang around
While everybody’s drilling for a fountain of youth
But sometimes in these fountains they drown

(--John Mark Mcmillan)

Juxtapostion

Working with different teams can be such a blessing: not only do I have the opportunity to meet new people, but I gain exposure to a lot of different industries professional fields: the most recent being video production (well, the filming part at least!).

This past week I had the opportunity to explore my city with a group of creative filmmakers and share the the beauty, the comical, the bizarre, and the darkness that inhabits this place - most noticeably the juxtaposition between the big toothy smiles of a village toddler and the generosity of his vivacious mother, the child labor and animal abuse at a brick factory, and the sight of burning feet of a corpse at the sacred cremation site, which were soon knocked off with a bamboo stick and shoved  under the rest of the burning corpse.

Here are some photos that I took while out with the film crew...

a recap....

2012 … was a year of surprise, travel, and a painful lesson.  And a year of extremes: breathtaking new spiritual heights, accompanied by spiritual valleys deeper than I thought possible. Here is the abridged version of some of the big things that transpired.

Lets start with suprises – or rather, THE surprise: a guy with a brilliant smile and two of the most beautiful striking brown eyes that I have ever seen.

Yes, folks, for the first time in my 25 years of life, I am in love! And it’s pretty cool. But not nearly as dramatic, cute and easy like Hollywood and Christian Romance novels portray it to be (Dad I should have listened to you: Lori Wick doesn’t know a thing!)

I could already write a short book on how this guy has affected my heart and mind. All in good ways, too! However, those are treasures for my heart. Here is what you get to know:

This year was a year of serious deconstruction and rebuilding of my faith. Because my LORD knows me, loves me, and (still) pours out grace and mercy on me ever day, he sent a young man to verbally speak into my life what He knew my wounded and humiliated heart would not accept from His Word.  I have never actually, in the moment, ‘heard’ God’s Word being directly and intentionally spoken JUST for me. It was powerful stuff, as was the healing that followed.  I am so thankful for his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and courage to speak out, even in tense situations! And I am excited to see what 2013 holds for us.

Travel:

This year I not only traveled back home to Minnesota for my brother’s wedding, but I also visited friends in Northern Ireland and New York City, travelled to Myanmar and the Philippines for work, trekked to Everest Base Camp (which felt like a whole new country, let me tell you!), and rounded it off by visiting family in Penang, Malaysia! My passport has lots of stamps and stickers in it… and that makes me really happy :D

Now, onto the painful lesson:

Obedience is hard.  Actually no, it is difficult.  Nope, wrong again.  Obedience is IMPOSSIBLE.  Because it is not an action, or even a series of actions. It is my life. Our lives. As Christians, our lives really can’t just be a series of moments in which we were obedient to the Lord. They should be obedience itself.

When I say obedience, I am referring to obeying a Holy and Just God.  And that’s pretty serious:

“For who in the skies can be compared to the LORD? Who among the heavenly beings is like the LORD, a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones, and awesome above all who are around him?” Ps. 89:6-7

A life that is obedience can only happen through the power of Christ Himself.

Which leads to my 2012 reality check: the Christian life is a Long Obedience in the Same Direction (Thank you, Eugene H. Peterson! Best title ever).  And rather than consisting of a list of do’s and don’ts and how many do’s you have done verses how many don’ts, this obedience is composed of a daily, intimate communion with your Creator.

“And what does the LORD ask of you? To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” Micah 6:8

Walk humbly with your God. Not running, not rushing, definitely not pushing or pulling….walking. Side by side. Moving forward, but not with haste to get to your destination. Hmmm.

My heart is not proud, Lord,

 my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content. (Ps. 131)

Somewhere along the line, I read a beautiful quote that said something to the effect of: faith does not trust because it knows where it is being led; faith instead trusts the character of the One who is leading. I think on that often when I ponder this road of obedience: I am (trying) not to concern myself with end results, timelines, or even the spiritual fruit that exists in my life. Rather, my concern is simply to follow the One who is leading – because He has not hidden Himself from me, and His Word and His Creation breathe a steady testament to His character and goodness.

So here I am in 2013: and all I can say is, I just want to know Him. 

Really know Him.

“I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face.”

-Donald Miller

2013, here we go!