Married in Nepal (Part 1)

This second round of Nepali life is oh so different from the first.

Largest difference? This time, I am MARRIED.

Marriage is a big identity change no matter where you are in the world, but in Nepal, it is a much more diverse experience as you collect reactions from Westerners from all different countries, as well as fellow Nepalese and Indians....and most importantly, your new In-Laws!

1. Future children are constantly discussed. As my husband and I are different "colors" (he is Indian, I am Caucasian American), the color of our future children is the most popular subject, from skin, to eyes, to hair...I should have paid more attention to genetics when I was in high school.

2. Vegetables, soup, bread, and goat meat are often delivered to our door by my father-in-law. My favorite so far has been the goat meat :) We also get free food in tupperware from all of my husband's Nepali "Aunties". Clearly, it is assumed I cannot cook! (No offense taken, as they are mostly correct. My husband is currently winning at our food "cook off", as his chili was way more popular with friends than my squash puree. Fair enough (squash?! *sigh*).

3. As I am now married, I magically have complete fluency in not just Nepali, but my husband's mother tongue as well: Telugu. In reality, I sadly am only able to call my in-laws by their Telugu terms: Atda (mother in law), Ma-Ma (father-in-law) and Atda Bitda (sister-in-law). Each meeting with my Atda and Ma Ma inevitably starts with "Have you learned Telugu yet?"....oh, if only it were that simple!

4. Friends leave us alone. Apparently newlyweds have sex all day and all night, thus they must be left alone. 

5. Setting up a new home includes a blessing of your cooking stove. Milk is boiled over to represent blessing and overflow of food for years to come. I did not catch on to this, and tried to prevent my "atda" (Mother-in-law) from boiling over her milk by showing her my "American" trick of placing a wooden spoon over the pot. I was very surprised to see her giggle and quickly remove the spoon and allow the froth to boil over! 

6. Having a head cold becomes an amusement, as you seek to please your new family (and husband) by trying new cultural remedies to fix your illness. No apples or bananas after 2:00pm, and only hot water for drinking after 6:00pm. Sleep with Vick's Vapor Rub on your feet, with socks on. Put tiger balm on...everything. Spicy food will clear out your system perfectly! Consume enough turmeric until you turn orange. (The best part was looking up home remedies on pinterest, and finding similar posts about Vick's Vapor Rub and turmeric! My in-laws are on to something!)

7. When in multi-ethnic groups, and telling someone you are married, they assume (out loud) that your husband is the other white guy in the group. TIA (This is Asia).

8. Surprise that you and your husband live in your own flat, not with his parents.

9.  An odd paradox to number 4: when one of us happens to be out for an evening, there is very vocal, friendly concern over the other being alone. The fact that both of us are quite capable of amusing ourselves seems to have escaped our friends, but we do love and appreciate the concern :)

10. My favorite: My ma ma (father-in-law) always sandwiches statements about life with "by the grace of God". I love hearing this reminder in daily conversation!

**These photos are of my atda (Mercy) and atda bitda (Lily, my sister-in-law) conducting their blessing of our new stove! We shared a lot of laughs over this :)

Chemicals

For Johnson...

A room sometimes is a body
With the loneliest view 
And the porch lights grow dim 
With every on-setting hour
Where the stars seem so finite to you

But love it ain’t like the chemicals babe
Cause the chemicals don’t hang around
While everybody’s drilling for a fountain of youth
Losing years on the way down

A melody can be exhausted babe
Short of friend and fame
Cause the birds they don’t sing
In the winter short of spring
And, even then, they only sing in the day 

But love, it ain’t like a melody babe
Cause the birds don’t hang around
Well, everybody’s drilling for a fountain of youth
But sometimes in these fountains they drown
Sometimes in these fountains they drown

But I want to love you
When the blood of my veins 
Don’t know how to call out your name
Yeah I want to love you
When the birds don’t hang around

But love it ain’t like the chemicals babe
Cause the chemicals don’t hang around
While everybody’s drilling for a fountain of youth
But sometimes in these fountains they drown

(--John Mark Mcmillan)

Juxtapostion

Working with different teams can be such a blessing: not only do I have the opportunity to meet new people, but I gain exposure to a lot of different industries professional fields: the most recent being video production (well, the filming part at least!).

This past week I had the opportunity to explore my city with a group of creative filmmakers and share the the beauty, the comical, the bizarre, and the darkness that inhabits this place - most noticeably the juxtaposition between the big toothy smiles of a village toddler and the generosity of his vivacious mother, the child labor and animal abuse at a brick factory, and the sight of burning feet of a corpse at the sacred cremation site, which were soon knocked off with a bamboo stick and shoved  under the rest of the burning corpse.

Here are some photos that I took while out with the film crew...

a recap....

2012 … was a year of surprise, travel, and a painful lesson.  And a year of extremes: breathtaking new spiritual heights, accompanied by spiritual valleys deeper than I thought possible. Here is the abridged version of some of the big things that transpired.

Lets start with suprises – or rather, THE surprise: a guy with a brilliant smile and two of the most beautiful striking brown eyes that I have ever seen.

Yes, folks, for the first time in my 25 years of life, I am in love! And it’s pretty cool. But not nearly as dramatic, cute and easy like Hollywood and Christian Romance novels portray it to be (Dad I should have listened to you: Lori Wick doesn’t know a thing!)

I could already write a short book on how this guy has affected my heart and mind. All in good ways, too! However, those are treasures for my heart. Here is what you get to know:

This year was a year of serious deconstruction and rebuilding of my faith. Because my LORD knows me, loves me, and (still) pours out grace and mercy on me ever day, he sent a young man to verbally speak into my life what He knew my wounded and humiliated heart would not accept from His Word.  I have never actually, in the moment, ‘heard’ God’s Word being directly and intentionally spoken JUST for me. It was powerful stuff, as was the healing that followed.  I am so thankful for his sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and courage to speak out, even in tense situations! And I am excited to see what 2013 holds for us.

Travel:

This year I not only traveled back home to Minnesota for my brother’s wedding, but I also visited friends in Northern Ireland and New York City, travelled to Myanmar and the Philippines for work, trekked to Everest Base Camp (which felt like a whole new country, let me tell you!), and rounded it off by visiting family in Penang, Malaysia! My passport has lots of stamps and stickers in it… and that makes me really happy :D

Now, onto the painful lesson:

Obedience is hard.  Actually no, it is difficult.  Nope, wrong again.  Obedience is IMPOSSIBLE.  Because it is not an action, or even a series of actions. It is my life. Our lives. As Christians, our lives really can’t just be a series of moments in which we were obedient to the Lord. They should be obedience itself.

When I say obedience, I am referring to obeying a Holy and Just God.  And that’s pretty serious:

“For who in the skies can be compared to the LORD? Who among the heavenly beings is like the LORD, a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones, and awesome above all who are around him?” Ps. 89:6-7

A life that is obedience can only happen through the power of Christ Himself.

Which leads to my 2012 reality check: the Christian life is a Long Obedience in the Same Direction (Thank you, Eugene H. Peterson! Best title ever).  And rather than consisting of a list of do’s and don’ts and how many do’s you have done verses how many don’ts, this obedience is composed of a daily, intimate communion with your Creator.

“And what does the LORD ask of you? To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” Micah 6:8

Walk humbly with your God. Not running, not rushing, definitely not pushing or pulling….walking. Side by side. Moving forward, but not with haste to get to your destination. Hmmm.

My heart is not proud, Lord,

 my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content. (Ps. 131)

Somewhere along the line, I read a beautiful quote that said something to the effect of: faith does not trust because it knows where it is being led; faith instead trusts the character of the One who is leading. I think on that often when I ponder this road of obedience: I am (trying) not to concern myself with end results, timelines, or even the spiritual fruit that exists in my life. Rather, my concern is simply to follow the One who is leading – because He has not hidden Himself from me, and His Word and His Creation breathe a steady testament to His character and goodness.

So here I am in 2013: and all I can say is, I just want to know Him. 

Really know Him.

“I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face.”

-Donald Miller

2013, here we go!

Latest Adventure...

Here are the basic details of my latest adventure: traveling to two different villages with two very good friends of mine, Holly and Ben. They were going to do some language research of the minority language spoken in a particular region of Nepal, and I was allowed to go with to observe and help in any way I could.   We were gone for almost two weeks, traveling in the South of Nepal, along with our language helper Ravi*.  To switch things up a bit, I have included snippets of my journal entries during those two weeks.  Overall it was an amazing trip that included wonderful times of solitude between me and the LORD, read some great books on my kindle (Les Mis!), experimented with my new camera, and observed Holly, Ben, and Ravi doing what they do best J

First morning: wanted to keep sleeping! The bed is better than we had hoped for- Holly and I got foam padding! The house belonged to the Jameson* family, who first settled here in the 60s and started Kingdom work and translation. So. Much. History.  Dust and cobwebs everywhere, like a haunted house in some aspects, But its ours for the week! We don’t have to infringe on someone else’s charity. And we are all so happy with that.  Ravi looks fresh as ever – a very kind and studious man, but also quite humorous!

…Oh the memories that this village and house hold!  The kitchen – where Anna* prepared rice and daal and who knows what else for her family…the loft, now overcome with rats, but once upon a time a haven for children.  It never ceases to surprise me how the Jameson family carved a “home” our of the side of the mountain here. And they are remembered so fondly by all the villagers! God has given them a strong legacy here.

…The sun has been out every day!  It is so beautiful! And quiet – what a timeless place. No traffic, noise, pollution, NOISE, dust, trash, NOISE…almost as though this place has remained untouched by time and globalization.  I think this village is almost the same as when Anna and John* first arrived.

Church today in the village. Beautiful music and dance in their mother tongue.  About one hundred people attend on a regular basis. Mostly women, but there was a fairly strong presence of men as well, which is always encouraging to see.  I couldn’t help but think about the sacrifices that had to be made for this Church to exist, on the side of mountain in the seemingly middle of nowhere. Amazing how God moves for the sake of His people.  Whoa.

New village…first rough day. We were out for five hours straight doing research. The goats were bleating, making recordings a challenge. The villagers were not cooperative or kind. At times as many as 35 children were crowding in, loud, inquisitive, blissfully unaware of the attempts of the adults to shoo them away.  Bugging, poking, watching. Absolutely no personal space! Definitely feeling tired and grouchy after this experience. I suppose that’s not too bad considering we are 12 days in to our trip. But still. I am a bit discouraged with my lack of graciousness in my reactions to this particular village.

The daal bhat is soooo good here! I am going to miss it when we return tomorrow to KTM.

Traveling home to KTM – so excited to see friends and be home again. Saw an old rusted ski left on the side of the mountain as we crawled along the twisting roads in the jeep.  Who would ever think to ride in that? I felt sick just looking at it! If you fell out….it would be a long, horrible drop to imminent death.

HOME. Dust, noise, and pollution. But home. Friends, familiarity. Life is good.

Called

Five miles southeast of Nazareth
A young man drew his final breath,
And perished in his mother's arms.
She stared across the olive farms
South to the Plain of Esdraelon;
And back and forth she rocked her son,
Her only son, and held his head
Against the breast where she had fed
Him with her bitter milk and tears.

For dark and bitter were the years
When he was born. His father died
Before the child could walk. His bride
Of twenty months had buried him,
With help from friends, out on the rim
That falls steep toward Samaria.
And spices from Arabia
Were given by the neighborhood,
As everyone agreed they should,
Because she had no other family.
But yet there was the son, and he
The widow's only hope.

Twelve years
They lived together, and her fears
Grew less as he became a man.
And then the dread disease began:
At first the intermittent cough;
And then the puzzling fever off
And on; and then the constant wheeze;
And then the nights upon her knees:

"Almighty God of Abraham,
Take pity on me, Lord, I am
A widow; he's my only son.
If he should die I am undone!"

And then the purple spit appeared,
And all the worst that she had feared.
To fight his final fears she tried
To hold him tight until he died.
And back and forth she rocked her son
Above the Plain of Esdraelon.

Her friends made fit the burial place
Out on the rim, and made a space
Beside his father, and prepared
The body while his mother stared
Across the Plain, too stunned and weak
To work or cry or even speak.
But then, come burial day, at length
She summoned up her little strength,
And with the child and crowd and pain
She led them out the gates of Nain.

And now, behold, the Word of God!
The rock- and ocean-splitting rod!

Along that very road there came
A band of men, and One whose name
Is Jesus Christ the Lord. They bowed
Politely to the grieving crowd,
But one: the Lord had fixed his eyes,
As though he heard a thousand cries,
On her. And when she saw his face
She stopped, and silence filled the place.
A strange and awesome feeling fell
Upon that crowd, and they could tell
That this exchange was very deep.
And then he spoke and said, "Don't weep."
And something happened in her heart
That made the heaviness depart.
And then he motioned to the men
Who held the box, and when
They looked at her and saw her hope,
They set it down and loosed the rope.
As gentle as a hand could be,
He made the coffin cover free,
And then with father-fingers lay
The strips of facial shroud away,
And spoke with passion in his eyes:
"Young man, I say to you, arise."
And he arose. And Jesus placed
Him in his mother's arms, and faced
Her one last time. Perhaps the two
Of them alone were all who knew:
Two short commands were all he said—
Two people quickened from the dead.

Who can withstand the word of Christ!
It has for ages now sufficed
To bear the universe it made!
Come let the glory be displayed
Of Jesus Christ's triumphant voice!
The dead rise not by their own choice,
And none of us would live at all
But by the Lord's triumphant call!
This is the truth of candle two:
The call of God makes all things new.

By John Piper. ©2012 Desiring God Foundation. Website: desiringGod.org

Wedding!

As many of you already know, on August 18th I was home in Minnesota to participate in the beautiful wedding of my brother, Zach, to the gorgeous HannahLee Bartell.  Words cannot describe the joy and beauty of that wedding! But I'll give it a go anyway....

Basically, my family and I have been waiting for this wedding for the last 2.5 years.  HannahLee is the kind of woman for which words don't really do justice.  But right from the start she just "fit" so well with our family, and brought out an even better side to Zach than we knew existed.  We were her number one fans from day one!  I was lucky enough to have been at Bethel finishing up my senior year when the two of them met. And Zach, being the savvy guy that he is, suggested that I take "his good friend Hannah" out for coffee sometime ("I think you two would get along really well!").  So Hannah and I had coffee together, and we just clicked. She shared her heart with me and I was floored by her depth and her loyalty and love for Christ.  I walked away from that first coffee date thinking "Lord, if there were ever two people fit for pouring into one another and being Christ, being YOU, to each other, I think it might be them.  Could it be that I just met my future sister-in-law?" Fast forward 2 years or so, and bam! Wedding of the Century!

The weather was perfect, the bride was stunning, the groom quite handsome, and the setting for their wedding (Stonewall Farms)... perfect.  My father officiated the ceremony, and I bawled through the whole thing.  No one but my Dad could express the trials and joys that lay ahead for Zach and Hannah, and also describe the mystery and holiness of marriage (especially in a world where marriage and vows don't hold a lot of meaning).  It was beautiful. God was there.

If you would like to see more photos from the wedding, check out my Facebook page - I've posted a couple albums there! http://www.facebook.com/meghann.burton.37

And now, folks, I am back in Nepal :) It has been sunny and gorgeous since I arrived - I really have missed this place, and the people.  Work picks up like crazy next week - another ELL camp, another visit/check-in from my boss, new volunteers moving to the area...and of course, slowly moving forward on our ELL business start-up.  As always, prayers are appreciated!  Love to you all...